*old punks web zine
*
Mission Statement, Universal Codes Of Conduct, Links And Glossary
Mission Statement
Good, bad and indifferent people do good, bad and indifferent things for good, bad and indifferent reasons. Behaviorism, psychopathology, ideology and insanity mix and match to explain all human behavior. Figuring out why people act and think the way they do is an inexact and often ineffectual science, yet judgments have to me made and standards adhered to. Otherwise it all falls to crap and only the crème de la scum celebrate. Interesting scenes only work as long as the worst elements don’t latch on, pile on and ruin it for everyone. If only more people were more reasonable.
I have no interest in arguing with anyone, and the only conversation I’ve had with someone who believes the United States is responsible for the world’s ills convinced me it’s not worth doing. It’s a bumpy road with no foreseeable destination, and while expressing ideas that shape opinions may be of value, working to manipulate people through conversation is creepy. What I write here is my opinion and if you don’t like it you can always take your business elsewhere.
I wrote the Old Punks Web Zine for five years as a personal creative project. I stopped because in internet years I was writing for 37 years and ran out of both new things to say and new ways of saying old things. After a two-year break I’m rewriting the zine to reflect my post-9-11 neo-con sensibilities, and also to correct some glaring writing/editing mistakes. I’ll add new things as the urge hits.
My agenda is whatever you suspect it is. I might be the CIA or a person living in a studio above a nail salon. Life is, after all, the Matrix, and as Neo it is your task to smash the system and bring it all back to reality. My official position is that I’m doin’ it for the kids!
Emerson
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The Universal Codes Of Conduct
(This List Will Grow With Time)
The following is a list of things all sane people should agree on, and can be applied when judging any persons’ or group’s validity - no matter what. No excuses in the name of liberal guilt or marxist/far right justifications. If you don’t agree with these basic human rights and freedoms, seek mental help or consider honorable suicide:
Genocide Is Wrong – “The deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political, or cultural group”
Rape Is Wrong - “Unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent”
Adult Sex With A Child Is Wrong – “Sex By Eight Or It’s Too Late” is not a valid child development theory.
Self-Esteem Cannot Be Developed Through The Hatred Or Death Of Others - "Victims" truly are capable of being horrendous victimizers themselves. "Multiculturalism" is minority self-esteem based on hatred for Whitey and Western Civilization.
There Is No Master Race, Gender or Sexuality– Even the Hawaiians have a master race theory. Yeesh!
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Links:
The Drudge Report
Matt “Scoop” Drudge isn’t as conservative as some claim. He’ll post anything against anyone if he can get the scoop. I picture him wearing a hat with a card shoved into the band that reads “PRESS”. Updated throughout the day. The guy has a weather fetish.
Front Page
Neo-con icon David Horowitz’s daily trove of articles on the war of cultures, both militarily and in the classroom
Powerline Blog
Lawyers and policy wonks add thoughtful commentary throughout the day.
Blame Bush!
A Bush supporter writes as a far left goofball. Liberal Larry is so funny sometimes I stop reading and just marvel.
Real Clear Politics
http://www.realclearpolitics.com
A well-planned daily compendium of links to center-right articles.
Little Green Footballs
http://www.littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/weblog.php
Looks directly into the face of post 9-11 madness and lets the monsters damn themselves with their own words and actions. Unflinching and necessary.
The National Review
Somewhere between neo and paleo-conservatism, there’s a load of new articles daily.
Charles Krauthammer
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/opinion/columns/krauthammercharles/
Always insightful and a reasoned voice in the angry game of punditry. He’s also handi-capable! One if not the best.
Mark Steyn
Funny and smart Canadian neo-con with a huge worldwide reputation.
Diary Of An Anti-Chomskyite
http://antichomsky.blogspot.com
Dedicated to the permanent and total discrediting of the work of Gnome Crapsky and his fellow travelers. VIVA LA COUNTERREVOLUTION!
Conservative Punk
http://www.conservativepunk.com
The new lead singer of The Misfits is part of this, and it has a neat design, but they need to update more often
The Washington Post
Center-left and a great newspaper when they’re not being partisan. Worth it alone for the huge comic strip archive. Mutts!
The Onion
In my lifetime there was Mad, National Lampoon, Spy and now The Onion, “America’s Finest News Source” Not as good as it once was, or I may be burned out on it. Still worth a peak once a week.
Portal Of Evil
Daily links to the nuttiest sites around. At times not safe for work but for weirdos it’s pretty tame.
Fark
Daily links to funny news stories.
The Internet Movie Database
Cross reference movies and actors until your shift is over.
The All Music Guide
A music lover’s dream, if not nightmare. Some of their ideas of similar sounding bands make me chortle and snort.
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Glossary Of Terms
Agnostic/Agnosticism - "A philosophical theory of the limitations of knowledge, professing doubt of or disbelief in some or all of the powers of knowing possessed by the human mind." Agnosticism is not atheism by any means, and I'm quite spiritual as an agnostic. The point of Agnosticism is to thoroughly research and think over your beliefs, and once you come to some conclusions regarding The Existential Crisis to not be an overbearing ass about it. It's a system similar to Freud's concept of superego.
Amorality - Indifference to the consequential differences between moral and immoral acts. Losers act like it's a higher and better state of consciousness, somehow Buddhist.
Anarchy – The low to high level dementia favored by both violent cretins and utopian daydreamers. It’s the weirdest fringe of socialism and a song lyric out of the mouth of Johnny Rotten, who specifically used the term to mean chaos. As a lofty theory it envisions total freedom, peace and selfless cooperation, but on the practical level it means random acts of violence against property, usually involving litter. But, you have to admit the anarchy symbol looks radical on jackets and skateboards!
Anti-Anti Communist - What some liberals called themselves when the Soviet Union was dying. They didn't want to label themselves pro-communist so they said they were against rabid right-wingers who hated communism. It reminds me of when neo-nazis said they weren't against minorities - they just loved white people!
Art – A self-defining cult of pretentiousness and self-importance. Artists think they'd be taristocracy under marxism when the truth is they're tolerated as long as they express the lies of The state.
Atheism - The secular religion where science replaces and resolves faith. Often more than a simple belief there is no God, atheism is often an active hatred toward religion and the religious.
Behaviorism - In general, people are the product of their experiences, so everything they do can be traced back to someone or something in their lives. A great theory except when it doesn't apply. People act and react in ways totally illogical from their experiences, and this approach can also wrongly absolve people from their actions since all bad behaviors are someone else's fault.
Belligerence - "An aggressive or ferocious attitude, atmosphere, or disposition." In other words, being constantly unpleasant.
Communism – The utopian last stage of Marxism, only evil capitalism keeps us from our inevitable ascent into a heaven on earth where there is no war, racism, sexism, hunger or other bad stuff.
Equivalence – The most often used and transparently insincere leftist rhetorical argument. You start by saying both sides are equally wrong or right, and then you proceed to explain why one side is totally wrong while the other is totally right. Almost all statements of equivalence end in this hypocritical disclaimer.
Existentialism/Existential Crisis - The great unknown who, what, where, when, how and why of human existence. The crisis is when you panic over the right course of action and aren't getting answers from above. I imagine life itself might be a test, and if you choose to be a bad person because "god is dead" you've failed, and maybe hell is being reincarnated into a worse life than you have now.
(What are they, the) Freakin' Amish - What I say when leftists pretend a "victimized" group is blameless. As an example, take Native Americans. They fought wars, kept slaves and even possibly practiced cannibalism, yet to be politically correct we have to pretend they've always been the Freakin' Amish.
Fuggknuckle - Fugg is a clean way of saying that other word, and this description for a dimwit always makes me laugh. Almost as much as the limerick that ends with "canoe full of goo".
Genocide - "The deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political, or cultural group" You'd be amazed how acceptable mass murder is to large swathes of humanity. I think there's a DNA switch that gets activated in the right situation. The far left and far right's vision of utopia are both predicated on genocide. The left sees it as a necessary process while the right sees it mostly as entertainment.
Gnome Crapsky - Noam Chomsky, impotent stalinist nutjob and political pedophile. I wish I could create a random name generator to come up with the same nonsense euphemisms Gnome does to intellectualize and confuse his genocidal, stalinist beliefs.
Honorable Suicide - A last option to consider if you are contemplating horrible acts against others. The Japanese call it Hari Kiri, or as they say in Chicago, "Harry Caray".
Humiliation - One of the pseudo-reasons leftists use to explain why enemies of their enemies commit horrific acts or in general hate the USA.
Hypocrisy - Saying and expecting things you yourself don't believe in or practice. When it's not intentional it's funny and makes that person small, but when the stakes are human lives it's a cruel joke. Also see: Equivalence.
Hypocritical Standard – When pretending to be neutral, it's a hypocrisy to judge one side by standards that can never be met while holding the other side to no or even negative standards. Of course there are many good reasons behind the hypocritical standard, which is where nuance, relativism, equivalence and all that other stuff comes into play. Leftists would never themselves live amongst the peoples they love most for hating the US.
Id, Ego, Superego - One of Sigmund "The Seamonster" Freud's theories of developmental personality. The Id is totally self-centered, the Ego starts to take into account the feelings of others and the Superego is a fully-functioning state of consciousness that tries to reconcile the existential crisis. Id is the most popular reference.
Ideology - A self-contained system of belief often hostile to all non-believers. At times inspiring an ongoing state of war, ideology encourages hypocrisy in all its forms. Ideology not only demands imposing your will on others, it demands those of other ideologies to be crushed.
Impossible Standard - The standard to which leftists hold democracies.
Leftist – My preferred term for groups to the left of liberal.
Liberal – The least harmful and most sincerely well-intentioned of the left. In this election cycle they suffer through association with the far left, who have taken over huge swaths of the Democratic Party.
Libertarian - The useful idiots of both major political parties who believe in unlimited freedom for everyone. With absolute freedom comes almost no responsibility, and that's where the system fails in practice. They might say a pedophile's right to swing around his dingy ends at a six year old boy's anus, but something tells me he won't at least try to sink his putz.
Marxism/Marxist – Karl Marx's repeatedly failed socio-economic-political construct which promises utopia but only brings genocide and suffering. Marxists are indoctrinated leftists who spew self-referential jargon like tummy chum at a bulimia banquet. Marxism appeals mostly to white, educated people of means who've never lived in anything but free societies.
Money Quote – Best line from an article or speech. A paraphrase of a porno term.
NAMBLA – The North American Man Boy Love Association. Thousands of Pervis Babylove’s who try to redefine child rape as a nurturing requirement for later healthy adult lives. The Rene Guyon Society is a much smaller group of more “straight” kiddie frickers who came up with the slogan “Sex Before Eight Or Else It’s Too Late”.
Neo-con – Neo-conservative. Former liberals and leftists who reject the victim culture, self-hating nihilism and condescending hypocrisy of the left in favor of personal responsibility and reward. Neo-cons are also not afraid to fight to bring about liberal democracy. What pisses off leftists so much about neo-cons is that the neos know all the leftist's lies and tactics.
Neo-Neo-Nazi – Most often used to describe Pat Buchanan and his light-brownshirt followers.
New Wave – For a while in the ‘70s new wave looked like the next big thing. The death of disco and the parallel rise of Duran Duran, Culture Club and the like destroyed the credibility of punk’s eccentric cousin. Many new wave bands were also good until they sold out.
Nihilism - Anarchy's anti-utopian twin, it believes existence itself is meaningless and should be destroyed. Where anarchy believes man-made apocalyptic chaos will lead to a primal paradise, Nihilists believe only the worst is real and reality should be the world of Hellraiser. In both anarchism and nihilism you find the delusion of rationality.
Noble/Useful Savage - An extension of the leftist proletariat, the noble/useful savage is the non-modernized foreigner as proud keepers of pure, simple lives who commit acts of violence to protect themselves from the crushing intrusion of capitalist democracy. Leftists believe they can utilize this rage to destroy their enemies while they themselves remain unaffected. Wow.
Nuance - The shades of grey leftists use to confuse all ethical concepts into amoral inaction.
Paleo-conservative - An ‘80s term used to delineate the neo-conservatives from standard conservativism that rose up to oppose Roosevelt's New Deal.
Patriotism - Love of your country, and by extension yourself. Patriotism stands in the way of leftist goals, so they hate it.
Peace – The ironic, nuanced, performance art leftist code word for hate, death and genocide.
Performance Art - Meaningless meaningful art by the truly talentless.
Pervis Babylove – Adult men who seek sex with small children.
Poetry – Writing pretty, but also, “Writing that formulates a concentrated imaginative awareness of experience in language chosen and arranged to create a specific emotional response through meaning, sound, and rhythm.” Poets are as pretentious as performance artists. I’ve sat through at least thirty poetry readings in my life, and wow do these people take themselves seriously. As they should, since their confusing juxtapositions of verbal images convey the deepest truth of all – the truth of poetry!
Political Pedophile - Adult leftists who target children for political indoctrination.
Proselytizing – “To recruit or convert especially to a new faith, institution, or cause” Proselytizing is incredibly condescending. If you have something of value, let it speak for itself and attract followers on the merits. To force your beliefs down people’s throats is sociopathic and therefore evil.
Psychopath - A person who willfully does damage without remorse. "Such individuals are insensitive to other's needs, and unable to anticipate the consequences of their behavior... characterized by absence of guilt and anxiety normally accompanying an antisocial act." Evil as a secular construct is based in psychopathology. Teenage belligerence is a common psychopathology most grow out of.
Punk – A vague set of musical, political and cultural subgenres that often appeal to teenage belligerency and adult social pathology.
Relativism - "A view that ethical truths depend on the individuals and groups holding them." A rhetorical device used by leftists to deflect responsibility from themselves and others of their ilk when they say or do anything bad. The cousin of equivalence.
Revenge and Retribution - Neo-con icon David Horowitz's explanation for the motivations of rich, white, sheltered American leftists. It rings true in everything I see.
Root Causes - Intellectual leftist rhetorical deflections from assigning responsibility to leftists and their proxies for destructive actions. A bastardization of behaviorism, it pretends everyone starts life with the potential to be a fully formed being of light, which only negative outside forces can negate.
Sane Insanity - Insane beliefs found in people who are otherwise capable of working, driving and operating a spoon.
Shpadoinkle! – A great multi-purpose exclamation I first heard on Buffy The Vampire Slayer but originating in the horrible film Cannibal: The Musical.
Slippery Slope - Events that lead to even worse events. Some slippery slopes are real and others are laughable. The trick is knowing the difference.
Social Justice - The latest, greatest and hugely cynical marxist jargon for their anti-democratic, anti-freedom agenda. Up there with rape being "tough love".
Social Pathology - anti-social behaviors found in many cultures that include substance abuse, violence, abuses of women and children, crime, corruption, criminality, discrimination and human rights violations.
Socialism – "Any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods." The first step in Marx's road to sweet, sweet communism, it looks good on paper but leads towards ruin the more it's put into practice. While its most benign ideals are useful to keep capitalism honest, socialism wrongly assumes everyone will or can be forced to participate unselfishly towards the common good. So-called socialist countries in actually capitalist democracies run as welfare states. Hitler called himself a socialist and his ideas national socialism.
Sociopath - A psychopath who loves the continuing and often slow process of screwing people over.
Stalin/Stalinism – Russia’s Adolf Hitler and mastermind of the Ukrainian Holocaust, Joseph Stalin and stalinists are the epitome of the modern murder machine. The worst monsters on the left are stalinists. No matter what Gnome Crapsky calls himself these days, he's a stalinist to the core. The worst thing you can call someone on the left is a Stalinist since Stalin=Hitler. The anti-war movement in America is run by stalinists.
Standard of None – The hypocritical standard held by leftists towards anyone against America, capitalism and democracy. In other words, leftists hold these people to no standard at all.
Standard of Negative Eleven – An ode to This Is Spinal Tap, leftists want and expect the enemies of their enemies to be inhumanly violent, cruel and unrelenting.
Teenage Belligerency (TB) – An extension of the Terrible Twos, it is the basis of most punk culture. It is the fully verbal child’s constant scream of No! and a rejection of all things adult and parental. TB usually fades after a few years of having to support yourself in the real world. TB also explains the idea that under anarchy punks would be paid to be nothing more than lumps of fat sitting on a couch.
Ten Percent Rule - A belief that generally only ten percent of anything is of real value. Only ten percent of movies, books, records etc. are great. The same can be applied to people. Gays call themselves Ten-Percenters but the Ten Percent Rule probably applies there too.
Third Way - The elusive third political system that proclaims to be neither left nor right. There is something called the Centrist Coalition, which by nature will fail because only zealots make big things happen in politics. Anarchists and other losers like to call their ideas the Third Way.
To Serve Man – A Twilight Zone punchline I use to define the gist of marxist literature. Those in the know are sociopaths and those who don't are naive.
United Nations – Where the elite of the world’s worst crapholes sit around pretending they care and matter. I lived in NY for eighteen years and Washington, DC for fourteen, so I’ve seen these fuggknuckles up close. I’ve read endless accounts of UN members and staff acting like untouchable criminals in this country. If the only value of the UN is to win over The Sudan into slowing their rape and murder ethnic cleaning campaign by inviting their delegates to nightly banquets, that’s just great, but please don’t pretend the UN is a force for good. Kofi Annan sat on field reports warning of the impending slaughter of the Tutsis in Rwanda. The Iraqi Food-For-Oil program was a scam. The UN is a joke. There is a group within the UN called the “Community Of Democracies” which will be getting more attention in the near future. Better yet, disband the UN and create a League Of Democracies. Unless you believe keeping the elite of the worst whored, fed and partied is the only way we can all get along in the world community.
Useful Idiots - Lenin's term for western liberals who swallowed the lies of Communism whole and defended Russia's actions as mere misunderstandings.
Utopia - Literally meaning "No Place", it is a self-perpetuating mental disorder the left packages as optimism to the naïve, and their own delusions. Scratch the surface of utopia and you'll find a path strewn with genocides and gulags.
Victim Culture - White, rich leftists prefer their minorities to be poor, uneducated and angry. To them, these armies of the disenfranchised will accept the rule of their enlightened puppetmasters and march to victory against the Fat White Males Wearing Ties. And always remember, victims of racism, sexism and looksism are incapable of being victimizers themselves.
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